Queer Family Planning
Sex Ed in schools obviously failed us and there is definitely no Queer Sex Ed in schools. So let’s talk about basic family expansion options for two people who have uteri.
Queer couples have a range of family planning options available to expand their families, with each option providing unique paths toward parenthood. Here are some common family planning expansion methods:
Intrauterine Insemination (IUI):
IUI is a straightforward and commonly chosen method for queer couples who want to conceive. It involves placing donor sperm directly into the uterus during ovulation to increase the chances of fertilization. Couples can use known or anonymous sperm donors. This procedure can be done without medication on a natural cycle (I’d recommend tracking your cycles and using Ovulation Predictor Kits at home for a few months to dial in the timing exactly) or can be done with ovulation induction medications, such as Clomid (clomiphene) or Femara (letrozole).
In Vitro Fertilization (IVF):
Traditional IVF: One partner undergoes ovarian stimulation to retrieve eggs, which are then fertilized with donor sperm in a lab. The resulting embryo is then transferred to the uterus of the partner carrying the pregnancy.
Reciprocal IVF (Co-IVF): In reciprocal IVF, one partner provides the eggs, and the other partner carries the pregnancy. This allows both partners to share a biological connection to the child, one as the genetic mother and the other as the gestational mother.
Intravaginal Insemination (IVI):
IVI is a straightforward and commonly chosen method for queer couples who want to conceive in the comfort of their home. Also known as self-insemination or home insemination, is a method of artificial insemination where sperm is placed directly into the vagina near the cervix. It is often chosen by people who want a low-cost, less invasive way to conceive without medical intervention.
if you’d like to learn more about IVI we have a full page on it.
Adoption and Foster Care:
Adoption: Many lesbian couples pursue adoption, whether domestic, international, or open (where there is some level of contact with the birth parents). Adoption agencies, private lawyers, and other adoption professionals can assist in this process, depending on local laws and agency policies.
Foster Care: Foster care provides opportunities to care for children who may eventually become available for adoption. Many lesbian couples foster with the goal of adopting, while others provide temporary care as foster parents.
Surrogacy:
In cases where both partners cannot carry a pregnancy or choose not to, a surrogate may carry the child. This process can be done using one partner’s egg and donor sperm or using both donor egg and sperm, depending on the couple’s needs. In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate does not have a genetic connection to the child. In genetic surrogacy, the surrogate is also the egg donor.
Legal Considerations:
Regardless of the method chosen, legal steps may be necessary to protect the parental rights of the child so they can have a secure legal relationship with their parent or parents, especially in cases of known donors, adoption, or surrogacy. Many couples consult with a reproductive law attorney to establish legal parentage and ensure both partners have equal rights. This is a great resource.
